We all know parenting is a very difficult job. Every day is a lesson to us parents as we learn many things in this beautiful phase. There are many challenges ahead of our journey and we have to face it. Most of us try to be the best parent trying to make our kids the best among everyone. Parenting is not rocket science but there is nothing called as perfect parents either. We try hard to discipline them and give good values. We try to give our best to our kids and teach the best but knowingly or unknowingly we do make a few mistakes that might or might not impact our kids.
Top parenting mistakes that every parent make
1. Instilling fears
We all do this at some point in time. We do it so that our child listens to us. We might tell them about some unknown fearful characters like a monster, witch or about anything that might scare them. I used to speak about a monster and scare my daughter that it would come and take my her away if she did not have her food, or when she troubled me while sleeping or anytime when she was naughty. But this fear was rooted so deeply in her that on a few days, she would have disturbed sleep and scream at night. I understood the reason for this behaviour and stopped telling her things like this. Now she sleeps without any fear but is still scared to enter any room alone.
So parents, if you are using this as a tool to discipline your child then please stop it. Though our intention is just to do something good for them, this will impact them a lot. Instead, try to explain them politely and make them understand.
This is a very common thing that we all have grown up with and we are doing the same to our kids as well. We feel, by comparing the child with others, they might improve or get the competitive spirit. But no, that is absolutely wrong. By comparing we are only making them more insecure, less confident. Also, the child will see the person whom we are comparing with as an enemy and might start hating them forever. You might also get connected with this if you have ever been compared to someone you might still see that person as a competition or superior to you.
3. Venting out anger and frustration on child
We all have our own frustrations and worries. We are busy in our own work, handling various workload and multi-tasking. Sometimes, we might be yelled at the office or the work might not be finished and we are very much frustrated because of this and all that we do is to vent it out on our child. We show it on them because they are poor innocent soul and cannot do anything back to us but just keep quite. I am sure no parent can deny doing this. This behaviour of ours will make the child Wonder what is wrong with us or what is his mistake. Our child might start getting scared to talk to us and might stop opening up to us. Also yelling will lead to depression and anxiety. So please stop it before its too late.
4. Giving in to their demands
We all want our child to be happy and can do anything to keep them happy. Though we scold them, punish them, we are not less in showing our love to them and showering with gifts and toys. We try to give them all that they ask but this should be avoided as giving them everything they ask will lead to expectations. They might start expecting yes for everything and a no from you might lead to anger, frustration. So always give what is necessary and required instead of giving anything and everything.
5. Being overprotective
Every parent want to protect their child and keep them secure. Of course, its every parent’s duty in protecting their child but few parents go to an extreme level in protecting their kid. I have seen so many parents who are always there when the child trips and then a few parents always covering their kid in warm clothes so as to avoid the child from falling sick. When a child is in some problem or needs some help, I have seen parents helping out the child without letting the child try first. This behaviour of parents will make children very dependent and also they will lack confidence or ability to handle any situation.
6. Not listening to child
It is always important to take some time and listen to our child. I know we are busy and have so many things to do but investing a little time when the child has something to say will do no harm. This will ensure children that they have someone to listen to and take care of, someone to support. If we do not listen to them they might feel they are less important and their opinion doesn’t matter and they might even avoid voicing their opinion when required.
7. Speaking negatively about others
It’s human nature to gossip and speak ill about a person. We tend to take the negative side of a person and ignore his positive things. But if you are speaking ill about a person even in front of your child then please stop it. This will make a child look at things or people negatively always. Even if a person is very good, a small mistake will be highlighted and spoken about it always. Also, even if the other person’s intentions are correct, it can be interpreted in a wrong way thus reacting to it and a child’s relationship gets spoilt very easily with everyone as the negative side of a person is given more importance.
So these are the few parenting mistakes that should be avoided and parents if you are doing any of the above-mentioned mistakes, then please stop it as this will make a huge impact on a child. Let’s give our child a happy and positive environment which will help them in their entire life. Though we cannot be a perfect parent we can try to be close to perfection.